ByeBoring Jokes, Funny Audio and Videos

A mom was out walking with her 4 year old daughter. the child picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. The mother asked
her not to do that.

“I get it!” she beamed. “Then if you flunk, you have to be the daddy.”

Timmy had been have a hard time in math class and got an f on almost all of
his report cards. His mom thought he’d be better off if he went to a private
catholic school. The very first day of school Timmy came home went straight to
his room and began working until he finally just fell asleep on his bed. This
continued for a long time until he got his first report card from the new school
and his mom was so proud when he got an A in Math. She said i knew you’d do
better in a private school. Then she says how did you do so well and timmy
replies, “When i walked in and saw the guy nailed to the plus sign i knew they
meant bussiness.”

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”

A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The
7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin
swearing. When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old
says, ”When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I’ll say ‘hell’ and
you say ‘ass’.”

”I don’t know,” the 4-year-old blubbers, ”but you can bet your ASS it’s not
gonna be Cheerios!”

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body
part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

One, you have a dirty mind,
Two, you didn’t read your homework, and
Three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed,
”Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!”

”Dad! When you come up to spank me can you bring me a glass or water?”

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls
have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends,
“It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

Two children were in a doctor’s waiting room.
The little girl was softly sobbing.
“Why are you crying?” asked the little boy.

The boy looked at her worriedly and said, “I’m here for a urine test.”

One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday best was running so she
wouldn”t be late for church.
As she ran she kept praying, “Dear God, please son”t let me be late to
church. Please don”t let me be late to church….” And, as she was running she
tripped and fell.

When she got back up she began praying again, “Please, God don”t let me be
late to church — but don”t shove me either!

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently
was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to
use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their
lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner
market. The owner didn’t know what Johnny’s problem was, but the boys would
constantly tease him.
They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles
short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice
between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the
nickel — they said, because it was bigger.