ByeBoring Jokes, Funny Audio and Videos

What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy?
A family reunion.

1. “You get this round and the next round is on me.” I’ll be leaving before
the next round.
2. “I’ll get this round and the next one is on you.” Happy hour is about to
end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they’ll be $3.50.
3. “Hey, where is that friend of yours?” I have no interest in talking to you
except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.
4. “Can I get a glass of white zinfandel.” (female) I’m easy.
5. “Can I get a glass of white zinfandel.” (male) I’m gay.
6. “Ever try a body shot?” (male to female) I am even willing to drink tequila
if it means that I get to lick you.
7. “Ever try a body shot?” (female to male) If this is how wild I am in the
bar, imagine what I’ll do to you on the ride home?
8. “I don’t feel well, let’s go home.” (female) You are paying more attention
to your friends than me.
9. I don’t feel well, let’s go home.” (male) I’m horny.
10. “Who’s got the next round?” I haven’t bought a round in almost 3 years,
but I am an expert at diverting attention.

You might be a redneck if your baby’s first words
were, “Attention, K-mart shoppers.”

What’s the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
Outlaws are wanted.

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, men will screw anything.

You might be a redneck if you think “wind sprints” means
running from a fart.

You know your a redneck if you’re playing soccer and you
say ”I hit my two best balls today… with a rake.”

You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a deer at 60 miles an
hour.

You might be a redneck if your daddy walked you to school and you are both in
the same grade.

Why did God invent armadillos?
So that rednecks can have ‘possum on the half-shell

Adenoids…..(n) Space critters whut are keepin’ Elvis alive on Pluto
anasthesia…(n) Rushun princess y’all red ’bout in skool.
antacid……(n) aloosinagenic drugs uzed by itty bitty bugz.
bowel……..(n) A alfabit letter lyke A, E, I, O, or U or why?
bronchitis…(n) dinosour frum the plastikseen age; extinked.
catscan……(v) lukin’ fer hookers (don y’all do this)
cauterize….(v) makin’ eye contak with a hooker (berry dangerous)
d & c……..(n) Warshingtun; whar the weirdos, purvurts, & kongress type
peepul live.
emema……..(n) sumone who ain’t never no frend no how
fester…….(n) yer unkles name (mos likelee)
genital……(n) head of a army, fer sample, Genital Robert E. Lee
heart……..(v) when u cauz pain to some1
hypodermic…(n) huge, big, fat zoo crittur; mostly live in de woter
mamogram…..(n) short note sent 2 yer ma er other female
papsmear…..(v) when peepul sez veri ugli things bout yer pappy
recovery…..(n) place wear yew fix up yer fernitur
rectum…….(v) whut happenz when yew drive yer pick up truck drunk
seizure……(n) Emperore of Rome.
series…….(n) tv continuin show, fer sample, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
testicles….(n) books of the Bible
tumor……..(n) how many beers yew can drink after last call
urine……..(v) xact oppisyte of yerrout