ByeBoring Jokes, Funny Audio and Videos

Attorney: And what did you see when the defendant pulled down his pants?
Witness: It looked like a penis, only smaller.

Attorney: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of
Mr.Edgington at the Rose Chapel?
Pathologist: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Attorney: And Mr. Edgington was dead at the time, is that correct?
Pathologist: No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an
autopsy.

Q. What is your brother-in-law’s name?
A. Borofkin.
Q. What’s his first name?
A. I can’t remember.
Q. He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first
name?
A. No. I tell you I’m too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and
pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God’s sake, tell them your first name!

Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: And why is that?
Defendant: Because my lawyer isn’t interested in my case.
Judge (to lawyer): Do you have any comments on defendant’s motion?
Lawyer: I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening.
Judge: All right. Any other questions?

The Court: Who is your lawyer?
Defendant: Do I have to expose him?
The Court; Well, certainly.
Defendant: Jehovah.
The Court: Joe Who?
Defendant: Jehovah.
The Court: Is he a member of the Washington State Bar Association?

Prospective Juror: Judge, I would like to be excused from jury duty because my
wife is about to become pregnant.
Attorney: Judge, he doesn’t mean his wife is about to become pregnant;he means
she is about to deliver.
Judge: He may be excused. In either case he should be present.

Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn’t pronunciate his words.

Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q. Did he kill you?
A. No.

Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.

THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information
and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.

Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog’s ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears.