Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. They
placed the message “HE’S LYING” in the copier, and pressed the copy button each
time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie
detector” was working, the suspect confessed to the police.
What’s the last thing a redneck says before he dies?
Hey guys watch this.
You might be a redneck if you refer to 4th grade as your senior year.
Roses are red pickles are green I like chew balk-a u smell like the queen.
you have a complete salad bowl set with the words “Cool Whip” on the side.
How much wood, would a red naked chick if a red naked could chick wood.
What does a bottle of wine and Sammy Sosa got in common? **They both popped
their cork!
There was this gas station in “redneck country” trying to increase it’s sales,
so the owner put up a sign saying “Free Sex with Fill-up.”
Soon a “redneck” customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his
free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed
correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer then guessed (8) and the
proprietor said, “No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex
this time but maybe next time”.
Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in
again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the
correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, “Sorry,
it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time”.
As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, “I think that game is
rigged and he doesn’t give away free sex”. The buddy replied, “No, it’s not
rigged — my wife won twice last week”.
A pregnant Redneck woman is involved in a car accident and falls into a deep
coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no
longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, “Ma’am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your Uncle from
West Virginia came in and named them.”
The woman thinks to herself, “Oh No, not my Uncle… he’s an idiot!”
She asks the doctor”, Well, what’s the girl’s name?”
“Denise.”
“Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it! What’s the boy’s name?”
“Deepen”.
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
3. Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.
4. Stores don’t have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no
matter what time of the year.
6. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
grain, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house, garage, and leave both unlocked.
9. You carry jumper cables in your car … for your OWN car.
10. You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” is.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
14. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but
requires 6 pages for sports.
15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
17. You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.”
18. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and
Christmas.
19. You know whether another Georgian is from southern, middle, or northern
Georgia as soon as they open their mouth.
20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
21. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as “going wal-martin” or
off to “Wally World.”
22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
23. A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola, or pop … it’s a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor.
24. You understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from
Georgia.
