ByeBoring Jokes, Funny Audio and Videos

Apparently the tides are axis as 4 out of 5 British men say that they’ve been sexually addled by women at work. Making affairs worse, 85% of administration accept that they yield complaints of animal aggravation from men beneath actively than from women employees.

Great… so basically this agency both men and women are getting way too anxious at plan now. What anytime happened to just accepting to watch what you say about women? Hopefully this is just a British thing, admitting the accomplished political definiteness movement seems to accept abundant added drive that I would accept anytime thought.

File that beneath binding acuteness training is on the horizon.

These two eggs had just been married and were on their honeymoon.

While they were sitting on the bed making out, the female egg pushed the male
egg away and said, “I just have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a
minute.” and off she went.

Five minutes later, the male egg saw his sexy wife walk out in a slinky
‘egg’lige, wiping her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.

Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it
completely.

The female egg looked at him and asked what he was doing.

He replied, “The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head
with a spoon!”

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction
of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their
habits.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come
from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
“Nice Gazonas,” says the man, “where do you want these blinds?”

MasterCard for Men
Cover charge: $15.00
Round of drinks: $23.00
Table dance: $30.00
another round of drinks: $23.00
Couch dance and tips: $50.00
A round of shots: $34.00
Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00

There are some things that money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s
MasterCard.

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the
bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and
panting.

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had
written the word ‘penis’ in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the
class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and
began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word
‘penis’ again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the
culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on
the board, but instead, found the words, “The more you rub it, the bigger it
gets!”

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes
home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one
of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?”
The husband just looked at his wife and said, “What do I look like, Mr.
Plumber?”

“Cool. What kind of cake did you make?” asked the husband. “Cake? What the
hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker?

This should be sung to the tune “A Few of My Favorite Things” from the movie”
The Sound of Music”

Meeting with Boris and Helmut and Tony,
States of the Union with lots of baloney,
Winning debates and the joy of my flings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

The new minister’s wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation
for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation
agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the
minister appealed and again the congregation approved the increase. Several
years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the
increasing expenses. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the
minister.

Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his wife of fifty years suggested
they take a cruise: “We could go somewhere for a week, and make wild love like
we did when we were young!” He thought it over and agreed.
He put on his hat and went down to the pharmacy, where he bought a bottle of
seasick pills and a box of condoms. Upon returning home, his wife said ”I’ve
been thinking. There is no reason we can’t go for a month.” So Mr. Johnson went
back to the pharmacy and asked for twelve bottles of seasick pills and a box of
condoms. When he returned his wife said, ”You know, since the children are on
their own, what’s stopping us from cruising the world?”

A young man just got a new job running the register at a store. The old-timer
said he would teach him how to sell things. “Watch how I do it” he said to the
new hire as a man came up to the counter.

The man then asked the young salesman, “What are you talking about?” “Well,”
he said, “It looks like your weekend’s shot so you might as well cut the
grass!”